Have You Seen It This Way?

I'd like to see a prehistoric dawn. Wouldn't you? Be on the look out for one. Take your camera.

I often have to forgive the actor in me. I hope you will do the same. The actor in me is desperate for the invisible spotlight. He seeps up onto the surface and bows to the crowd passing me by on the street. Tipping his fedora, he'll recite supreme poetry out of the deepest pit of memory just to win and woo you over. Now, is this to say that I am never sincere? I hope not. If I am merely a disingenuous fake, I would never bother to spill this onto the internet. I am not possessed by an alter ego. I'm not at the mercy of some clever parasite. But the actor in me is never content to sit in the green room while the audience is shouting for the encore. The actor is me. I cheat myself into behaving how I think they would like it. These spells of madness are very subtle and increasingly infrequent. But if you think about it, perhaps you have a thespian in you as well? I think very few people have mastered such lapses of drama. We must knuckle down and lock down that tendency to be a professional. Do you know what I mean? You might have never felt it. If you haven't, maybe I'm prodding sensitive flesh that doesn't need investigation. But most of us lean towards behaving like a professional instead of being a genuine, flimsy, hilarious human being. Oh Lord, please forgive the actor in me.