I stopped by a Starbucks late last night, on the way home from a Christmas party. It was mostly on a whim. I was too tired to drink coffee but I was sort of hoping that I'd find someone there that I knew. Happily, I was rewarded to find three friends of like minds and spirits. During one point in my conversation with them, we got on the subject of gift giving. I jokingly fended off a small impromptu gift by saying, "Oh no thank you, I'm not worthy of such a present." I didn't really mean that the value of a nice pen surpassed my own human dignity but I simply had no use for such a fine writing utensil. My friend responded by saying, "Well of course you're worthy! You were worth enough for Jesus to die for you so you're worth enough for me to give you this pen!"
Now, we were just having a good time, enjoying some early morning fellowship. I doubt anyone in the room at the that time had the sharp clarity of mind needed to discern all the theological nuances that weave themselves into conversations between human beings. My friend was merely being kind and he is impressively humble. But driving home, my mind got the better of me and I began to think about what he said. Was I really worth it for Jesus to die for me? I did a mental run through of my resumé. Average height. Average build. Lives below the poverty line. Needs eye correction to legally drive. Doesn't even have a dog.
On oh so many levels, I am nothing to brag about. This is no nose dive at my own self-esteem or sense of important. But really, I can't think of anything in myself that the God of the universe would count as "worthy". Any resemblance of charity or goodness that I can find in myself is infinitely magnified and multiplied in His own excellent character. Stand us both in front of the same mirror and only He will be found to lack nothing. So, I started thinking about God's motivation for choosing me, for loving me and for dying for me.
It's always best to go to the Scriptures. When we look at Ephesians 5:25-33, we see Paul is telling husbands to love their wives like Christ loved the church. Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Church goers are told this beginning in Sunday school. But what we are rarely told is why Christ really died for us. If anything, we're told that He died for us because He loved us enough to die for us. We're taught that we are the reward for His death. He died and it's because I'm so incredibly worthy that He died. Right? But Paul says that I am for Him. I, with the rest of the church universal, am to be presented to Him in splendor. Peter says the same in 1 Pet.3:18, that Christ died for the purpose of bringing us to Him.
The goal of salvation, ultimately, has never been man's good. The goal of salvation has always God's glory.
Friday, December 28, 2007
After watching Harry Potter with my parents, I did some driving around tonight. I ended up falling into a Starbucks. It was predictable as a pop song. The crescendo was a hot white mocha that scalded the tip of my tongue just like the night before. Several people from my old high school were there. I didn't recognize a few of them at first. I felt kinda guilty about that for a little bit. Though the feeling was evanescent, it was sharp enough to get me out the door. I wasn't running away, mind you. I just very badly wanted to get out of there. So I finished my Vonnegut and that wretched delight of a mocha and stepped to my car.
On the way to my friend's house, the saddest thought of a smile became bottled up inside my chest. I felt like had done something beautiful but tragic. It's hard and embarrassing to explain. Perhaps I was responsible for the death of the last unicorn? Or maybe you had morphed into a golden statute when I gave you the Midas hug. But that silly sickness evaporated once I got out of the car. After a few rounds of pool, I decided to head home. Then, ineluctably, my arms wrapped around this little glowing mousetrap and told you all about my evening. And now we're friends.
On the way to my friend's house, the saddest thought of a smile became bottled up inside my chest. I felt like had done something beautiful but tragic. It's hard and embarrassing to explain. Perhaps I was responsible for the death of the last unicorn? Or maybe you had morphed into a golden statute when I gave you the Midas hug. But that silly sickness evaporated once I got out of the car. After a few rounds of pool, I decided to head home. Then, ineluctably, my arms wrapped around this little glowing mousetrap and told you all about my evening. And now we're friends.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Hey Jude
I am not ashamed to say that I liked the movie Hairspray. It's really true: you can't stop the beat. It feels good to sell back those cursed textbooks.
I've been doing a lot of thinking today. Rethinking actually. Rethinking what I've been fed all my life in church. Now, I'm not talking about truth. I'm not saying that I've been rethinking every piece of good, Biblical doctrine that I've ever heard (although I do think it's wise to examine your beliefs to make sure you understand them). But I've been taking some long hard looks at the slices of folk theology that lines the walls of the churches of evangelicalism today. By "folk theology" I mean the traditions of men that have been souped up to look like the commandments of God. They are tacitly accepted as the Christian cultural norm. Examples would be like what it means to take the Lord's name in vain or whether a building or place can be made holy. Or here's a good one: is church tradition a bad thing? Protestants have been so anti-tradition for centuries ever since God rescued us from the darkness of Catholicism but is it really a bad thing? I believe that liturgy and creedal confessions, when utilized correctly, can be excellent and powerful methods of instruction. I'd like to see a good, Biblical Protestant liturgy. And if it doesn't happen soon, I'll just have to write it myself!
And another thing. Jude 21 tells us to keep ourselves in the love of God. For a stupidly long time I thought that verse meant that I was to somehow make sure that I never fell out of the range of God's love. But that never made any sense to me. As a Calvinist, I wondered how I could ever outrun or unearn God's love (since I never earned it in the first place and since God's love was first big enough to save me). So I tossed the verse aside as a bone, as something I simply was not mature enough to digest yet. But recently, through the preaching of one Charles Haddon Spurgeon, I've learned that it meant for me to make sure that I kept my love for God. It meant that I am to always seek to learn more, to keep warm my devotions, to keep pure my emotions and to keep bright my expectations.
Perhaps as a body, by and large, the evangelical church has missed this. We have not kept ourselves in the love of God. I understand that this verse must be narrowed down to a personal duty, but each of us personally is responsible for lackluster service to the Lord. I'm sorry to critique my own brethren but I think my boiling point has been tapped. Evangelicalism is fast becoming a political movement, stuffed with a prosperity gospel and a bottomless appetite for entertainment. The old guideposts of discernment and knowledge have been discarded for the more attractive fashion of being relevant to a pagan culture. It has become a white American religion and it has never been more comfortable with itself than today. Granted, there are many in evangelicalism who have not compromised the Biblical mandates and are daily seeking to remain in the love of God. But those faithful watch dogs are powerless to stop the bleeding.
Every arena in which the church has been failing, I think, can be traced back to its love for God. The heresy of the Emerging Church, however noble their initial ambitions may have been, is rooted in a distortion of truth. And here is where love comes in. As Spurgeon puts it: "Love God and you will not love false doctrine. Keep the heart of the church right and her head will not go far wrong. Let her abide in the love of Jesus and she will abide in the truth." Evangelicalism's slow surrender to missing the point is killing us softly. As Spurgeon says, "in dull, decaying churches, errors spread like ivy on the crumbling walls of an old abbey."
As it is an individual duty, I think the best way to recover and keep ourselves in the love of God is to daily seek more and more of the love of God. Never spend a day without seeking out the Master's voice. Don't leave your room to meet people head on until you have first met God head on. The church in all her beauty will one day be presented before the Father. We should have no doubt of that. But while we're on this side of heaven, we should be diligent to keep ourselves in the love of God, tossing aside error and distraction so that we can carry out our main purpose: to bring the Gospel of God to the unbelieving world.
I've been doing a lot of thinking today. Rethinking actually. Rethinking what I've been fed all my life in church. Now, I'm not talking about truth. I'm not saying that I've been rethinking every piece of good, Biblical doctrine that I've ever heard (although I do think it's wise to examine your beliefs to make sure you understand them). But I've been taking some long hard looks at the slices of folk theology that lines the walls of the churches of evangelicalism today. By "folk theology" I mean the traditions of men that have been souped up to look like the commandments of God. They are tacitly accepted as the Christian cultural norm. Examples would be like what it means to take the Lord's name in vain or whether a building or place can be made holy. Or here's a good one: is church tradition a bad thing? Protestants have been so anti-tradition for centuries ever since God rescued us from the darkness of Catholicism but is it really a bad thing? I believe that liturgy and creedal confessions, when utilized correctly, can be excellent and powerful methods of instruction. I'd like to see a good, Biblical Protestant liturgy. And if it doesn't happen soon, I'll just have to write it myself!
And another thing. Jude 21 tells us to keep ourselves in the love of God. For a stupidly long time I thought that verse meant that I was to somehow make sure that I never fell out of the range of God's love. But that never made any sense to me. As a Calvinist, I wondered how I could ever outrun or unearn God's love (since I never earned it in the first place and since God's love was first big enough to save me). So I tossed the verse aside as a bone, as something I simply was not mature enough to digest yet. But recently, through the preaching of one Charles Haddon Spurgeon, I've learned that it meant for me to make sure that I kept my love for God. It meant that I am to always seek to learn more, to keep warm my devotions, to keep pure my emotions and to keep bright my expectations.
Perhaps as a body, by and large, the evangelical church has missed this. We have not kept ourselves in the love of God. I understand that this verse must be narrowed down to a personal duty, but each of us personally is responsible for lackluster service to the Lord. I'm sorry to critique my own brethren but I think my boiling point has been tapped. Evangelicalism is fast becoming a political movement, stuffed with a prosperity gospel and a bottomless appetite for entertainment. The old guideposts of discernment and knowledge have been discarded for the more attractive fashion of being relevant to a pagan culture. It has become a white American religion and it has never been more comfortable with itself than today. Granted, there are many in evangelicalism who have not compromised the Biblical mandates and are daily seeking to remain in the love of God. But those faithful watch dogs are powerless to stop the bleeding.
Every arena in which the church has been failing, I think, can be traced back to its love for God. The heresy of the Emerging Church, however noble their initial ambitions may have been, is rooted in a distortion of truth. And here is where love comes in. As Spurgeon puts it: "Love God and you will not love false doctrine. Keep the heart of the church right and her head will not go far wrong. Let her abide in the love of Jesus and she will abide in the truth." Evangelicalism's slow surrender to missing the point is killing us softly. As Spurgeon says, "in dull, decaying churches, errors spread like ivy on the crumbling walls of an old abbey."
As it is an individual duty, I think the best way to recover and keep ourselves in the love of God is to daily seek more and more of the love of God. Never spend a day without seeking out the Master's voice. Don't leave your room to meet people head on until you have first met God head on. The church in all her beauty will one day be presented before the Father. We should have no doubt of that. But while we're on this side of heaven, we should be diligent to keep ourselves in the love of God, tossing aside error and distraction so that we can carry out our main purpose: to bring the Gospel of God to the unbelieving world.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
V for Victory, S for Sweet
This couch likes to eat my phone. I think it's developed a fine taste for Sprint over the years. But I'm totally recumbent here and my phone has a tendency to slide out of my pocket and down between the cushions. I'm pretty sure I could drown on this thing. You need a life jacket to lounge.
Life is officially no longer in slow motion! I played my jury today and it turns out my chops were good enough to pass. Honestly, didn't see that coming. But by the grace of God, I earned the right to continue education in Texas. Praise the Lord! So, can I relax now? Perhaps not. But can I breathe now? Oh yes. And breathing is a nice reward for slow motion pain.
I've fallen in love again with words. It's a shame how quickly I fell out. Maybe I'd merely forgotten it. But I was able to treat myself well after I got the happy news of my passing the jury. I just sat down in a Starbucks with my ipod, my little ESV Bible and my little notebook and had a grand, beautiful time. I'm excited to find some new music this Christmas. I can tell you for sure that Shostakovitch's 3rd String Quartet is thrilling.
I played hide and seek with pleasure and found it set in stone and covered with life.
Your PB from J for today: "She kissed me!"
Life is officially no longer in slow motion! I played my jury today and it turns out my chops were good enough to pass. Honestly, didn't see that coming. But by the grace of God, I earned the right to continue education in Texas. Praise the Lord! So, can I relax now? Perhaps not. But can I breathe now? Oh yes. And breathing is a nice reward for slow motion pain.
I've fallen in love again with words. It's a shame how quickly I fell out. Maybe I'd merely forgotten it. But I was able to treat myself well after I got the happy news of my passing the jury. I just sat down in a Starbucks with my ipod, my little ESV Bible and my little notebook and had a grand, beautiful time. I'm excited to find some new music this Christmas. I can tell you for sure that Shostakovitch's 3rd String Quartet is thrilling.
I played hide and seek with pleasure and found it set in stone and covered with life.
Your PB from J for today: "She kissed me!"
Monday, November 26, 2007
What a Day
The sky was beautiful tonight. Driving home around 6:30 PM, I happened to gaze up at the horizon. A huge swath of cotton clouds were wrapped around the moon. The moon wasn't visible but you could see its pale light just seeping out from around the edges of the concealing moisture. For some reason, it seemed like the clouds were trying their best to keep the moon modest. It was as if they were indignant at the thought of such a brazen, unbridled display of beauty.
Thanksgiving was beautiful. I got to spend time with my family. Had eggnog and ice cream for breakfast. I also got to see some friends that I hadn't seen in many long, melancholy moons. And it's always good to hear a sermon from the pastor. Such a faithful expositor. Bought myself Ingrid Michaelson's CD "Girls and Boys". Go buy it. And now I'm back in Texas.
Here is an excellent article entitled "Polemic Theology": http://www.founders.org/FJ33/article3.html. I recommend it if you are particularly ardent about the truth but can't seem to keep your pride in check whilst in passionate debate. But even if that doesn't describe you, please read it. It's very good.
Traffic jams, missing socks and runny noses are the quotidian calling cards of life. I think that's what bothers me so much about any given moment. There are just so many hangnails in this world and they all pull a nerve at the slightest provocation. But what can you do?
Go listen to the Brahms Double in A Minor for Cello and Violin. If you can find the version of Pablo Casals on cello, blessed are you among the barren hearts. That piece will slay you!
Your words were on the tip of my ear but it was too stuffed with wishes that I couldn't hear you say them. Perhaps time and wisdom will clear my head of silly woolgathering. Until then, hold that thought.
Your PB from J for today: "I thought I was going faster!"
Thanksgiving was beautiful. I got to spend time with my family. Had eggnog and ice cream for breakfast. I also got to see some friends that I hadn't seen in many long, melancholy moons. And it's always good to hear a sermon from the pastor. Such a faithful expositor. Bought myself Ingrid Michaelson's CD "Girls and Boys". Go buy it. And now I'm back in Texas.
Here is an excellent article entitled "Polemic Theology": http://www.founders.org/FJ33/article3.html. I recommend it if you are particularly ardent about the truth but can't seem to keep your pride in check whilst in passionate debate. But even if that doesn't describe you, please read it. It's very good.
Traffic jams, missing socks and runny noses are the quotidian calling cards of life. I think that's what bothers me so much about any given moment. There are just so many hangnails in this world and they all pull a nerve at the slightest provocation. But what can you do?
Go listen to the Brahms Double in A Minor for Cello and Violin. If you can find the version of Pablo Casals on cello, blessed are you among the barren hearts. That piece will slay you!
Your words were on the tip of my ear but it was too stuffed with wishes that I couldn't hear you say them. Perhaps time and wisdom will clear my head of silly woolgathering. Until then, hold that thought.
Your PB from J for today: "I thought I was going faster!"
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Deeper Things are Inbound.
I was recently introduced to the music of a beautiful and amazing woman. Her name is Ingrid Michaelson. I strongly wish that you'd check out her music at www.myspace.com/ingridmichaelson. It's honey. She's like a cleaner Regina Spektor. I think I like Ingrid's voice better though. It's the difference between strolling and prowling. And thanks to Blake for tipping me off to her. You're a bread line for the bored.
I spent this last weekend back home in St. Louis. It was good to see my family again. I even saw some good friends I hadn't seen in many moons. I'm glad I'm not a rich man. I flew in to play for my friend's parents' auction. Good food. And I got to see Fredbird up close (he's the mascot of the Cardinals). I must say, he looks taller on TV.
I'm going to start playing my upright bass on the side. I mean, I'm going to be on the side of it as I play. I think it will solve many things about my playing. And apparently raw Texas honey will help me as well. I don't know why but my teacher thinks it's true. So, I went out and bought some to put on my Cheerios. Go figure. It tastes good though. I realized that I really love finding out about good music.
I still want to be a rock star. Just melting from the inside out with a smile on my face. I read the sign and I'm prepared to stop. Lock and load!
Deeper things are inbound.
Your PB from J for today: "My way's not very sportsman-like."
I spent this last weekend back home in St. Louis. It was good to see my family again. I even saw some good friends I hadn't seen in many moons. I'm glad I'm not a rich man. I flew in to play for my friend's parents' auction. Good food. And I got to see Fredbird up close (he's the mascot of the Cardinals). I must say, he looks taller on TV.
I'm going to start playing my upright bass on the side. I mean, I'm going to be on the side of it as I play. I think it will solve many things about my playing. And apparently raw Texas honey will help me as well. I don't know why but my teacher thinks it's true. So, I went out and bought some to put on my Cheerios. Go figure. It tastes good though. I realized that I really love finding out about good music.
I still want to be a rock star. Just melting from the inside out with a smile on my face. I read the sign and I'm prepared to stop. Lock and load!
Deeper things are inbound.
Your PB from J for today: "My way's not very sportsman-like."
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Speak Up or Shut Up..Please.
I've been thinking about enemies lately. I'm really not sure why. Maybe I've been thinking about love too much. But anyway, I've been wondering if I actually have enemies. I know that there are people who annoy me. There are people that I plain just don't like. (Hushed disclaimer: this post may not sound very Christian-like.) And I'm positive there are people, near and far, who just don't like me. But what defines an enemy? Is it merely someone who is against what you believe? Or is it someone who actually acts as your antagonist? What about in wartime?
I realized that I wasn't sure if I had an enemy. It was a rather alarming discovery. If an enemy is deeper and darker than an unlikable person, I'm not sure I could point you to one. Now, is that a good thing? If I have no enemies, then I'm forced to conclude at least two reasons. 1.) I am compliant with every one's beliefs and and expectations or 2.) I've never stood tall enough for anything I believe in. I know that the first reason won't hold. I'm too stubborn or too arrogant to be compliant. And on a theological level, I'm too much of an orthodox watchdog. But then what about reason number 2? How can someone hate you if you've never displayed any true colors for them to hate you for? A spy is only attacked when he is discovered.
I'm not going to go pick a fight with the most vocal atheist on campus. I'm not going to ransack a Buddhist temple. But when was the last time I stuck my neck out and didn't flinch? When Christ said "love your enemies", the disciples could point them out. They knew just what an enemy was. When the early church heard Paul's letters read aloud: "if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink", they knew exactly what men kill them without a moment's hesitation.
The point is, they had enemies to love. I'm not sure that I know what my enemies look like. I mean, I can't see them in my life. Am I complaining? Not exactly. But I'm questioning. If I reach the age of 60 and I don't have anyone who hates me because of my convictions and my faith...then what was I doing all that time? I'm just so tired of trimming my sails and keeping my mouth shut when I'm out in the world, on campus or in houses. The problem with bricks and a cross is that I never see the sky. I never become aware that there are people out there who won't say "amen!" whenever I affirm Christ's deity. Life is too few of days and too full of trouble for weak inclinations that glow and fade. I want them to hear me burn!
Your PB from J for today: "I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using."
I realized that I wasn't sure if I had an enemy. It was a rather alarming discovery. If an enemy is deeper and darker than an unlikable person, I'm not sure I could point you to one. Now, is that a good thing? If I have no enemies, then I'm forced to conclude at least two reasons. 1.) I am compliant with every one's beliefs and and expectations or 2.) I've never stood tall enough for anything I believe in. I know that the first reason won't hold. I'm too stubborn or too arrogant to be compliant. And on a theological level, I'm too much of an orthodox watchdog. But then what about reason number 2? How can someone hate you if you've never displayed any true colors for them to hate you for? A spy is only attacked when he is discovered.
I'm not going to go pick a fight with the most vocal atheist on campus. I'm not going to ransack a Buddhist temple. But when was the last time I stuck my neck out and didn't flinch? When Christ said "love your enemies", the disciples could point them out. They knew just what an enemy was. When the early church heard Paul's letters read aloud: "if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink", they knew exactly what men kill them without a moment's hesitation.
The point is, they had enemies to love. I'm not sure that I know what my enemies look like. I mean, I can't see them in my life. Am I complaining? Not exactly. But I'm questioning. If I reach the age of 60 and I don't have anyone who hates me because of my convictions and my faith...then what was I doing all that time? I'm just so tired of trimming my sails and keeping my mouth shut when I'm out in the world, on campus or in houses. The problem with bricks and a cross is that I never see the sky. I never become aware that there are people out there who won't say "amen!" whenever I affirm Christ's deity. Life is too few of days and too full of trouble for weak inclinations that glow and fade. I want them to hear me burn!
Your PB from J for today: "I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using."
Friday, November 2, 2007
Mumbled and Jumbled
I've felt very paranoid lately. I'm not sure why. I hope everyone had a delightful Reformation Day. My bed is so comfortable. It's incredible. The burger I had tonight just wasn't that awesome. I was kinda hoping for more. I don't think I come off as trustworthy. Maybe it's that dangerous glint in my eye. It's been stuck there for months. Quite the hassle when I try to put in my contacts.
Recent mind games (inclusive but certainly not exhaustive):
-Thoughts are the great purveyors of the soul. When they bring back filth for me to ingest, my sight becomes a bit darker and my heart crystallizes just a little more.
-How can I encourage openness and kindness in others when I can't admit my own private, snobbish judgements?
-Remember that little 7Up Spot guy from the commercials in the late 80s? Did he ever talk? Or was it more like little squeaking noises, kinda like the Cheat?
-I wish I could write smiling melodies to all your sad words but I just can't find the right key. It's fantastically frustrating. But every time I give up it just makes me want to try again. It's a cycle of backward steps.
-What's the appeal of "going clubbing"?
-I've become less tolerant of silence and solitude. It's a little disappointing really.
-Remember when we got kicked out of Expo for playing hide and go seek around the expensive lamps? What a bad influence you were! Oh but I still love ya buddy.
If I were to name something after you, what would you like it to be?
I fly home this Friday. I'm 6 pages from the end. Just don't give it away. Go read some Bradbury and everything will be okay.
Recent mind games (inclusive but certainly not exhaustive):
-Thoughts are the great purveyors of the soul. When they bring back filth for me to ingest, my sight becomes a bit darker and my heart crystallizes just a little more.
-How can I encourage openness and kindness in others when I can't admit my own private, snobbish judgements?
-Remember that little 7Up Spot guy from the commercials in the late 80s? Did he ever talk? Or was it more like little squeaking noises, kinda like the Cheat?
-I wish I could write smiling melodies to all your sad words but I just can't find the right key. It's fantastically frustrating. But every time I give up it just makes me want to try again. It's a cycle of backward steps.
-What's the appeal of "going clubbing"?
-I've become less tolerant of silence and solitude. It's a little disappointing really.
-Remember when we got kicked out of Expo for playing hide and go seek around the expensive lamps? What a bad influence you were! Oh but I still love ya buddy.
If I were to name something after you, what would you like it to be?
I fly home this Friday. I'm 6 pages from the end. Just don't give it away. Go read some Bradbury and everything will be okay.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Living is Simple?
I think I'll survive. There has to be some strikingly painful and salient changes. But I'm going to aim for survival. My music has really been picking up these last couple of weeks. The bass has been good. I'm enjoying music for the first time in a good while. And I don't mean that music has recently been a terrible chore for me. But to be honest, I hadn't been making music. It was only a movement. It was merely motion. And who wants to speak a love song when you can sing it? I think that's why I wasn't fully into it. I've been learning how to add color to the shadows. It's as if I'm able to paint inside the lines and the lines are all of the notes that have sounded so black and white. Maybe I'll turn some attention to my electric bass soon. One thing at a time though. I still have that desire to play in a band and make music with other people. But the core drive remains the same: ministry. Studying and teaching the Bible. Oh man! But one foot after the other, right? Baby steps. Bill Murray was so right. I played in technique class tonight. The unanimous response was that it was the best I've ever performed. That was very encouraging. Still, there were a few old kinks that flaired up in the most uncomfortable way. But now I actually have a desire to smooth them away. I want to really be concentrated in my effort. I learned what a priority is today. I just wish the context of the lesson hadn't been so painful. But pain makes it stick, I suppose.
www.shirt.woot.com. $10 with no shipping charge for a unique t-shirt. They start selling at midnight and are usually sold out by the morning. But it's a good place to check out if you ever want a sweet shirt.
Does it bother anyone else that the top 3 songs on iTunes right now are hip hop/rap songs? But if you want some solid-fine music (that hyphen is completely intentional), go listen to Matt Pond PA. He's real good. Gracias, Blake.
If you follow Reformed blogs at all (and who doesn't?), you might have seen these. They're real provocative thoughts on evangelicalism and its rampant failings. Ponder, if you will.
http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2007/10/24/can-i-just-start-a-new-tradition/#more-451
http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2007/10/26/michael-spencer-on-the-problems-of-evangelicalism/
http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2007/10/28/characteristics-of-a-new-christian-tradition/
I still don't have a Halloween costume picked out. I think that's very scary. So maybe it's just appropriate enough and I shouldn't even bother dressing up. Or maybe I'll be a Carebear.
Lastly, this is for that dear newlywed sister of mine:
Your PB from J for today: "It fit so nice, he said I could keep it."
www.shirt.woot.com. $10 with no shipping charge for a unique t-shirt. They start selling at midnight and are usually sold out by the morning. But it's a good place to check out if you ever want a sweet shirt.
Does it bother anyone else that the top 3 songs on iTunes right now are hip hop/rap songs? But if you want some solid-fine music (that hyphen is completely intentional), go listen to Matt Pond PA. He's real good. Gracias, Blake.
If you follow Reformed blogs at all (and who doesn't?), you might have seen these. They're real provocative thoughts on evangelicalism and its rampant failings. Ponder, if you will.
http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2007/10/24/can-i-just-start-a-new-tradition/#more-451
http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2007/10/26/michael-spencer-on-the-problems-of-evangelicalism/
http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2007/10/28/characteristics-of-a-new-christian-tradition/
I still don't have a Halloween costume picked out. I think that's very scary. So maybe it's just appropriate enough and I shouldn't even bother dressing up. Or maybe I'll be a Carebear.
Lastly, this is for that dear newlywed sister of mine:
Your PB from J for today: "It fit so nice, he said I could keep it."
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
I Enjoyed This
This World Series is going to rox my sox. :O) Hail to the World Series Champions, the St. Louis Cardinals! At least they're the Champions until Boston chokes.
I am such a creature of pleasure. I suppose we have a term for it. Hedonist. But I love to be pleased. I love to enjoy. I enjoy the enjoyment of pleasure. Did I just write that sentence? You bet. Moving on, if you ever read through Psalm 119, you start to notice strong currents of hedonism in the words. There is so much longing in Psalm 119! And what does the writer long for? He longs for the Bible. But in such language, you'd think he was an junkie begging to satiate his addiction. The man is desperately desirous of God's Word! Look at verse 20: "My soul is consumed with longing for Your rules at all times." That sounds like a breathless confession to me. Now, I know what he means when he says that. I've felt like that before. But to long for it "at all times"? Is that mere hyperbole? What must that feel like? So white and hot a desire for God's truth I have not known. I can't even imagine it as a constant drive, burning like a grease fire in my marrow.
Let's never forget that the Psalm 119 is a song about God's Word. It's a song. What song was ever written out of duty? It's laughable to think that the psalmist wrote it because it was the right thing to do. I can't picture him sitting with his pen and his twelve-string lyre, having to step up and deliver because he was honor bound to do so. The man passionately sings about delight and exulting and rejoicing in the Bible, in obedience to it. Where did the notion of "stiff upper lip" obedience come from? How did that sneak into my heart? Someone must have traduced. Does joy decrease as obedience to God's Word increases? This is a warped understanding of duty and it's killing the church softly. We assume that obedience is a matter of putting the will over the emotion. But duty can't be subtracted from delight. Duty can't be separated from delight. Duty IS delight. Or at least it should be. Reading Nehemiah this morning, I saw in verse 11 of chapter 1: "O Lord, let Your ear be attentive to the prayer of Your servant, and to the prayer of Your servants who delight to fear Your name..." Do I delight to fear the name of my Lord? Is it my deep and burning pleasure to revere Him and obey His commandments? This kind of thing is so far above my head right now. It's something I want to climb up and attain. For fun, read through Psalm 119 and try and count how many times he talks about delighting in the Bible or loving the Bible or longing for the Bible. It's pretty overwhelming. As C.S Lewis so famously said (and as I now so rudely paraphrase), it isn't that God finds our desires too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures fooling around with food and sex. Something like that. It trails off into a marvelous illustration. Smart man, that Clive.
I miss you all so much. I miss my hometown friends too. I want to be in a band and play good songs and communicate with a crowd of strangers and friends on a level too deep to be spoken of with clarity.
Some recommended listening:
-The Duhks "Migrations". This band is one amazing bunch of musicians. Good French bluegrass.
-Claude Debussy's String Quartet in G Minor. The third movement is killer. Can anyone find me a better recording that the Medici Quartet performing it?
-Lester Young with the Oscar Peterson Trio "The President Plays". Mellow dark saxaphone in the middle of one of the best jazz trios of all time. Very good stuff.
John Owens quote: "Be killing sin or sin will be killing you." Have a great week! :O)
I am such a creature of pleasure. I suppose we have a term for it. Hedonist. But I love to be pleased. I love to enjoy. I enjoy the enjoyment of pleasure. Did I just write that sentence? You bet. Moving on, if you ever read through Psalm 119, you start to notice strong currents of hedonism in the words. There is so much longing in Psalm 119! And what does the writer long for? He longs for the Bible. But in such language, you'd think he was an junkie begging to satiate his addiction. The man is desperately desirous of God's Word! Look at verse 20: "My soul is consumed with longing for Your rules at all times." That sounds like a breathless confession to me. Now, I know what he means when he says that. I've felt like that before. But to long for it "at all times"? Is that mere hyperbole? What must that feel like? So white and hot a desire for God's truth I have not known. I can't even imagine it as a constant drive, burning like a grease fire in my marrow.
Let's never forget that the Psalm 119 is a song about God's Word. It's a song. What song was ever written out of duty? It's laughable to think that the psalmist wrote it because it was the right thing to do. I can't picture him sitting with his pen and his twelve-string lyre, having to step up and deliver because he was honor bound to do so. The man passionately sings about delight and exulting and rejoicing in the Bible, in obedience to it. Where did the notion of "stiff upper lip" obedience come from? How did that sneak into my heart? Someone must have traduced. Does joy decrease as obedience to God's Word increases? This is a warped understanding of duty and it's killing the church softly. We assume that obedience is a matter of putting the will over the emotion. But duty can't be subtracted from delight. Duty can't be separated from delight. Duty IS delight. Or at least it should be. Reading Nehemiah this morning, I saw in verse 11 of chapter 1: "O Lord, let Your ear be attentive to the prayer of Your servant, and to the prayer of Your servants who delight to fear Your name..." Do I delight to fear the name of my Lord? Is it my deep and burning pleasure to revere Him and obey His commandments? This kind of thing is so far above my head right now. It's something I want to climb up and attain. For fun, read through Psalm 119 and try and count how many times he talks about delighting in the Bible or loving the Bible or longing for the Bible. It's pretty overwhelming. As C.S Lewis so famously said (and as I now so rudely paraphrase), it isn't that God finds our desires too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures fooling around with food and sex. Something like that. It trails off into a marvelous illustration. Smart man, that Clive.
I miss you all so much. I miss my hometown friends too. I want to be in a band and play good songs and communicate with a crowd of strangers and friends on a level too deep to be spoken of with clarity.
Some recommended listening:
-The Duhks "Migrations". This band is one amazing bunch of musicians. Good French bluegrass.
-Claude Debussy's String Quartet in G Minor. The third movement is killer. Can anyone find me a better recording that the Medici Quartet performing it?
-Lester Young with the Oscar Peterson Trio "The President Plays". Mellow dark saxaphone in the middle of one of the best jazz trios of all time. Very good stuff.
John Owens quote: "Be killing sin or sin will be killing you." Have a great week! :O)
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Eye Don't Know
Ignore the pun if you can't smile at it. That is my standing advice to all those with much better senses of humor than me. To fill you in on the past scattered hours, I've been poring over the most random Hebrew flash cards. It's not helping terribly with my class but now I can tell you how to say "watermelon" and "lake" in Hebrew. Ask me about it sometime. I promise, it's thrilling.
I've been noticing more and more that the kids on campus by and large prefer to avoid eye contact. I'm not sure why this is. Eyes meeting sometimes leads to a friendly smile. I thought Texans were supposed to be naturally friendly. Maybe that's only east Texans? All the east Texans I know are friendly. But is it pride that makes us avoid locking eyes? I'm much too important to actually meet the gaze of a lesser being. Therefore, I will refuse to acknowledge my fellow travelers. Or perhaps it's almost like a sign of submission? As if when you meet their eyes, you have somehow truckled to someone else's desire (the desire to make eye contact). That sounds silly, doesn't it? It could be the fear of appearing weak. If you go around looking into everyone's eyes to get a returning look, you might appear needy. You need eye contact so you can feel you've been recognized and acknowledged by someone. That probably sounds equally silly. But we're a species of mimes and clowns, imitating the pitiful strut of the peacock next to us. I've noticed that those who don't make eye contact usually either look at the ground, look away or stare directly ahead. It's a little maddening if you spend to much time thinking about it. I think the reason I'll settle on is conceit. Not sure if I covered that one, but nevertheless (or nonetheless?) it is my choice. The tendency to not make eye contact (not to be too rash with generalizations) seems to be a symptom of being self-absorbed. You may pawn it off as being shy. But from my own experience, when I take the time to pick at it, I am swimming in my own interests and I really don't want to look too far beyond my own nose. I simply care too much about looking nonchalant. It's hopelessly stupid.
P.S- I have a friend who once told me how she can't wait to get to heaven. At times it would actually move her to tears. Now, like any good Christian, I know that heaven is where my real home is. But I've never cried because I wanted to be there so much. I've perhaps cried because I didn't want to be here anymore, on earth. But how do I become homesick for a place I've never been? I suppose I just need to study the postcard sent from the resident, yes?
Enjoy the scraps of your Tuesday. A full helping of Wednesday will be right up.
I've been noticing more and more that the kids on campus by and large prefer to avoid eye contact. I'm not sure why this is. Eyes meeting sometimes leads to a friendly smile. I thought Texans were supposed to be naturally friendly. Maybe that's only east Texans? All the east Texans I know are friendly. But is it pride that makes us avoid locking eyes? I'm much too important to actually meet the gaze of a lesser being. Therefore, I will refuse to acknowledge my fellow travelers. Or perhaps it's almost like a sign of submission? As if when you meet their eyes, you have somehow truckled to someone else's desire (the desire to make eye contact). That sounds silly, doesn't it? It could be the fear of appearing weak. If you go around looking into everyone's eyes to get a returning look, you might appear needy. You need eye contact so you can feel you've been recognized and acknowledged by someone. That probably sounds equally silly. But we're a species of mimes and clowns, imitating the pitiful strut of the peacock next to us. I've noticed that those who don't make eye contact usually either look at the ground, look away or stare directly ahead. It's a little maddening if you spend to much time thinking about it. I think the reason I'll settle on is conceit. Not sure if I covered that one, but nevertheless (or nonetheless?) it is my choice. The tendency to not make eye contact (not to be too rash with generalizations) seems to be a symptom of being self-absorbed. You may pawn it off as being shy. But from my own experience, when I take the time to pick at it, I am swimming in my own interests and I really don't want to look too far beyond my own nose. I simply care too much about looking nonchalant. It's hopelessly stupid.
P.S- I have a friend who once told me how she can't wait to get to heaven. At times it would actually move her to tears. Now, like any good Christian, I know that heaven is where my real home is. But I've never cried because I wanted to be there so much. I've perhaps cried because I didn't want to be here anymore, on earth. But how do I become homesick for a place I've never been? I suppose I just need to study the postcard sent from the resident, yes?
Enjoy the scraps of your Tuesday. A full helping of Wednesday will be right up.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Lazy on a Saturday
At least, now I'm lazy. I can afford to be. One of the housemates is sleeping. Don't worry, mom. Today is for practicing and work. Thanks for being a faithful reader! It's hard to know how well this one will get out into the world. It's funny because the week tends to be a slow motion dash for the weekend. But then you have to balance the need to enjoy the weekend and the need to use the weekend. Accidently woke up at 9 this morning. Spent the morning down at the town square with my roommate Kory. Bought some really cheap books. Right now I'm enjoying the short stories of Ray Bradbury. They're something I've been meaning to invest in for some time now. So I got two books of short stories. Also bought Voyage of the Dawn Treader and the Silver Chair. They're a part of C.S Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia. Dawn Treader is by far my favorite. And I found them in the old 1970s editions. I also bought John Owen's "Mortification of Sin" and C.S Lewis' "Letters to Maclom". All at a delightfully low price! Oh I love used book store. Rycled Books is by far my favorite. Tried out some new root beer today: Virgil's Root Beer. Ever heard of it? It sucks. Seriously, it's terrible. Don't drink it. Got some groceries. Now, it's time to kick back and get to work. Enjoy your Saturday. Enjoy it like nobody's business!
Friday, October 12, 2007
Honor and Lust: a Recipe for Headaches
I'm a Christian. As a Christian, I firmly believe that the Bible is perfectly capable of holding sway over every facet of human behavior. There's no sense in being coy on my first real post, is there? So, at the outset, that is one of my beliefs. That said, I also believe that it's the joy of every Christian to be responsible in their study of the Bible. That involves banging your head on the coffee table for the six hundredth time because you simply can't understand what in the world the book is talking about. I recommend carrying Tylenol in your Bible case. Today I was wrestling with one text in particular (I had retreated from the others that were giving me a hard time).
I'm a Texan and I like to consider myself "raised right". My mama done taught me how to treat a lady, is what I mean. Maybe that's why this verse stood out so starkly to my eyes. 1 Peter 2:18 commands us to "Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king." While I'm sure that a good, sturdy preacher could take that verse and preach for a couple of years (how good of an idea would that be?). But I'm just going to chip away a little piece of it right now. And this is something that directly applies only to guys.
So, we're to honor all people yes? I'm trying to see how this saturates my own life. Surely it also implied that we stop doing that which is dishonorable to all people. Now here's where men struggle so desperately. Lust is dishonoring to a woman. That is, of course, a gross understatement. 1 Timothy 5:2 says to treat women like family, in all purity. I have a sister and a mother. I can understand what the Bible means here. How do I treat them? I love them. I safeguard them. I show respect and sensitivity. Obviously, I don't always do this. But as I'm maturing more and more as a man, it's becoming easier to treat them this way. Ideally, this is how I should treat every woman right? That's how men are supposed to treat women, according to the Word of God. But lust rots those duties away. Lust dissolves the shape of a gentleman's heart and leaves what was there before: a twisted heart that constantly needs renovation. When I think about, what is more dishonorable to a woman than ruthlessly judging her like a piece of meat? And she isn't even aware of it. Yet the degradation remains. A Christian guy may hold open a door for a girl, but if he doesn't battle to rein in his sinful impulses all of his chivalry is a fake, filthy double-minded disaster. I think that's a little of what the Bible means when it condemns the double-minded man. The tendency to compartmentalize my fight with sin for the purpose of justifying my lenient lack of shame is nothing more than double-mindedness. I have a mind to kill my sin and I have a mind to live and let live.
And what about spitting in front of girls? Is it honorable to them to have to see me do that? Do you see what I'm getting at? The Bible is so all-sided! A verse that doesn't even speak on lust can knock me around and soak deeply into my heart. This is something I think John Piper is so extremely efficient at: seeing how far into our lives the Bible reaches. There really is no limit. We just have to wrestle with the text to find it out. Coffee helps. :O)
Keep struggling with your Bible!
I'm a Texan and I like to consider myself "raised right". My mama done taught me how to treat a lady, is what I mean. Maybe that's why this verse stood out so starkly to my eyes. 1 Peter 2:18 commands us to "Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king." While I'm sure that a good, sturdy preacher could take that verse and preach for a couple of years (how good of an idea would that be?). But I'm just going to chip away a little piece of it right now. And this is something that directly applies only to guys.
So, we're to honor all people yes? I'm trying to see how this saturates my own life. Surely it also implied that we stop doing that which is dishonorable to all people. Now here's where men struggle so desperately. Lust is dishonoring to a woman. That is, of course, a gross understatement. 1 Timothy 5:2 says to treat women like family, in all purity. I have a sister and a mother. I can understand what the Bible means here. How do I treat them? I love them. I safeguard them. I show respect and sensitivity. Obviously, I don't always do this. But as I'm maturing more and more as a man, it's becoming easier to treat them this way. Ideally, this is how I should treat every woman right? That's how men are supposed to treat women, according to the Word of God. But lust rots those duties away. Lust dissolves the shape of a gentleman's heart and leaves what was there before: a twisted heart that constantly needs renovation. When I think about, what is more dishonorable to a woman than ruthlessly judging her like a piece of meat? And she isn't even aware of it. Yet the degradation remains. A Christian guy may hold open a door for a girl, but if he doesn't battle to rein in his sinful impulses all of his chivalry is a fake, filthy double-minded disaster. I think that's a little of what the Bible means when it condemns the double-minded man. The tendency to compartmentalize my fight with sin for the purpose of justifying my lenient lack of shame is nothing more than double-mindedness. I have a mind to kill my sin and I have a mind to live and let live.
And what about spitting in front of girls? Is it honorable to them to have to see me do that? Do you see what I'm getting at? The Bible is so all-sided! A verse that doesn't even speak on lust can knock me around and soak deeply into my heart. This is something I think John Piper is so extremely efficient at: seeing how far into our lives the Bible reaches. There really is no limit. We just have to wrestle with the text to find it out. Coffee helps. :O)
Keep struggling with your Bible!
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