I think I'll survive. There has to be some strikingly painful and salient changes. But I'm going to aim for survival. My music has really been picking up these last couple of weeks. The bass has been good. I'm enjoying music for the first time in a good while. And I don't mean that music has recently been a terrible chore for me. But to be honest, I hadn't been making music. It was only a movement. It was merely motion. And who wants to speak a love song when you can sing it? I think that's why I wasn't fully into it. I've been learning how to add color to the shadows. It's as if I'm able to paint inside the lines and the lines are all of the notes that have sounded so black and white. Maybe I'll turn some attention to my electric bass soon. One thing at a time though. I still have that desire to play in a band and make music with other people. But the core drive remains the same: ministry. Studying and teaching the Bible. Oh man! But one foot after the other, right? Baby steps. Bill Murray was so right. I played in technique class tonight. The unanimous response was that it was the best I've ever performed. That was very encouraging. Still, there were a few old kinks that flaired up in the most uncomfortable way. But now I actually have a desire to smooth them away. I want to really be concentrated in my effort. I learned what a priority is today. I just wish the context of the lesson hadn't been so painful. But pain makes it stick, I suppose.
www.shirt.woot.com. $10 with no shipping charge for a unique t-shirt. They start selling at midnight and are usually sold out by the morning. But it's a good place to check out if you ever want a sweet shirt.
Does it bother anyone else that the top 3 songs on iTunes right now are hip hop/rap songs? But if you want some solid-fine music (that hyphen is completely intentional), go listen to Matt Pond PA. He's real good. Gracias, Blake.
If you follow Reformed blogs at all (and who doesn't?), you might have seen these. They're real provocative thoughts on evangelicalism and its rampant failings. Ponder, if you will.
http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2007/10/24/can-i-just-start-a-new-tradition/#more-451
http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2007/10/26/michael-spencer-on-the-problems-of-evangelicalism/
http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2007/10/28/characteristics-of-a-new-christian-tradition/
I still don't have a Halloween costume picked out. I think that's very scary. So maybe it's just appropriate enough and I shouldn't even bother dressing up. Or maybe I'll be a Carebear.
Lastly, this is for that dear newlywed sister of mine:
Your PB from J for today: "It fit so nice, he said I could keep it."
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
I Enjoyed This
This World Series is going to rox my sox. :O) Hail to the World Series Champions, the St. Louis Cardinals! At least they're the Champions until Boston chokes.
I am such a creature of pleasure. I suppose we have a term for it. Hedonist. But I love to be pleased. I love to enjoy. I enjoy the enjoyment of pleasure. Did I just write that sentence? You bet. Moving on, if you ever read through Psalm 119, you start to notice strong currents of hedonism in the words. There is so much longing in Psalm 119! And what does the writer long for? He longs for the Bible. But in such language, you'd think he was an junkie begging to satiate his addiction. The man is desperately desirous of God's Word! Look at verse 20: "My soul is consumed with longing for Your rules at all times." That sounds like a breathless confession to me. Now, I know what he means when he says that. I've felt like that before. But to long for it "at all times"? Is that mere hyperbole? What must that feel like? So white and hot a desire for God's truth I have not known. I can't even imagine it as a constant drive, burning like a grease fire in my marrow.
Let's never forget that the Psalm 119 is a song about God's Word. It's a song. What song was ever written out of duty? It's laughable to think that the psalmist wrote it because it was the right thing to do. I can't picture him sitting with his pen and his twelve-string lyre, having to step up and deliver because he was honor bound to do so. The man passionately sings about delight and exulting and rejoicing in the Bible, in obedience to it. Where did the notion of "stiff upper lip" obedience come from? How did that sneak into my heart? Someone must have traduced. Does joy decrease as obedience to God's Word increases? This is a warped understanding of duty and it's killing the church softly. We assume that obedience is a matter of putting the will over the emotion. But duty can't be subtracted from delight. Duty can't be separated from delight. Duty IS delight. Or at least it should be. Reading Nehemiah this morning, I saw in verse 11 of chapter 1: "O Lord, let Your ear be attentive to the prayer of Your servant, and to the prayer of Your servants who delight to fear Your name..." Do I delight to fear the name of my Lord? Is it my deep and burning pleasure to revere Him and obey His commandments? This kind of thing is so far above my head right now. It's something I want to climb up and attain. For fun, read through Psalm 119 and try and count how many times he talks about delighting in the Bible or loving the Bible or longing for the Bible. It's pretty overwhelming. As C.S Lewis so famously said (and as I now so rudely paraphrase), it isn't that God finds our desires too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures fooling around with food and sex. Something like that. It trails off into a marvelous illustration. Smart man, that Clive.
I miss you all so much. I miss my hometown friends too. I want to be in a band and play good songs and communicate with a crowd of strangers and friends on a level too deep to be spoken of with clarity.
Some recommended listening:
-The Duhks "Migrations". This band is one amazing bunch of musicians. Good French bluegrass.
-Claude Debussy's String Quartet in G Minor. The third movement is killer. Can anyone find me a better recording that the Medici Quartet performing it?
-Lester Young with the Oscar Peterson Trio "The President Plays". Mellow dark saxaphone in the middle of one of the best jazz trios of all time. Very good stuff.
John Owens quote: "Be killing sin or sin will be killing you." Have a great week! :O)
I am such a creature of pleasure. I suppose we have a term for it. Hedonist. But I love to be pleased. I love to enjoy. I enjoy the enjoyment of pleasure. Did I just write that sentence? You bet. Moving on, if you ever read through Psalm 119, you start to notice strong currents of hedonism in the words. There is so much longing in Psalm 119! And what does the writer long for? He longs for the Bible. But in such language, you'd think he was an junkie begging to satiate his addiction. The man is desperately desirous of God's Word! Look at verse 20: "My soul is consumed with longing for Your rules at all times." That sounds like a breathless confession to me. Now, I know what he means when he says that. I've felt like that before. But to long for it "at all times"? Is that mere hyperbole? What must that feel like? So white and hot a desire for God's truth I have not known. I can't even imagine it as a constant drive, burning like a grease fire in my marrow.
Let's never forget that the Psalm 119 is a song about God's Word. It's a song. What song was ever written out of duty? It's laughable to think that the psalmist wrote it because it was the right thing to do. I can't picture him sitting with his pen and his twelve-string lyre, having to step up and deliver because he was honor bound to do so. The man passionately sings about delight and exulting and rejoicing in the Bible, in obedience to it. Where did the notion of "stiff upper lip" obedience come from? How did that sneak into my heart? Someone must have traduced. Does joy decrease as obedience to God's Word increases? This is a warped understanding of duty and it's killing the church softly. We assume that obedience is a matter of putting the will over the emotion. But duty can't be subtracted from delight. Duty can't be separated from delight. Duty IS delight. Or at least it should be. Reading Nehemiah this morning, I saw in verse 11 of chapter 1: "O Lord, let Your ear be attentive to the prayer of Your servant, and to the prayer of Your servants who delight to fear Your name..." Do I delight to fear the name of my Lord? Is it my deep and burning pleasure to revere Him and obey His commandments? This kind of thing is so far above my head right now. It's something I want to climb up and attain. For fun, read through Psalm 119 and try and count how many times he talks about delighting in the Bible or loving the Bible or longing for the Bible. It's pretty overwhelming. As C.S Lewis so famously said (and as I now so rudely paraphrase), it isn't that God finds our desires too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures fooling around with food and sex. Something like that. It trails off into a marvelous illustration. Smart man, that Clive.
I miss you all so much. I miss my hometown friends too. I want to be in a band and play good songs and communicate with a crowd of strangers and friends on a level too deep to be spoken of with clarity.
Some recommended listening:
-The Duhks "Migrations". This band is one amazing bunch of musicians. Good French bluegrass.
-Claude Debussy's String Quartet in G Minor. The third movement is killer. Can anyone find me a better recording that the Medici Quartet performing it?
-Lester Young with the Oscar Peterson Trio "The President Plays". Mellow dark saxaphone in the middle of one of the best jazz trios of all time. Very good stuff.
John Owens quote: "Be killing sin or sin will be killing you." Have a great week! :O)
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Eye Don't Know
Ignore the pun if you can't smile at it. That is my standing advice to all those with much better senses of humor than me. To fill you in on the past scattered hours, I've been poring over the most random Hebrew flash cards. It's not helping terribly with my class but now I can tell you how to say "watermelon" and "lake" in Hebrew. Ask me about it sometime. I promise, it's thrilling.
I've been noticing more and more that the kids on campus by and large prefer to avoid eye contact. I'm not sure why this is. Eyes meeting sometimes leads to a friendly smile. I thought Texans were supposed to be naturally friendly. Maybe that's only east Texans? All the east Texans I know are friendly. But is it pride that makes us avoid locking eyes? I'm much too important to actually meet the gaze of a lesser being. Therefore, I will refuse to acknowledge my fellow travelers. Or perhaps it's almost like a sign of submission? As if when you meet their eyes, you have somehow truckled to someone else's desire (the desire to make eye contact). That sounds silly, doesn't it? It could be the fear of appearing weak. If you go around looking into everyone's eyes to get a returning look, you might appear needy. You need eye contact so you can feel you've been recognized and acknowledged by someone. That probably sounds equally silly. But we're a species of mimes and clowns, imitating the pitiful strut of the peacock next to us. I've noticed that those who don't make eye contact usually either look at the ground, look away or stare directly ahead. It's a little maddening if you spend to much time thinking about it. I think the reason I'll settle on is conceit. Not sure if I covered that one, but nevertheless (or nonetheless?) it is my choice. The tendency to not make eye contact (not to be too rash with generalizations) seems to be a symptom of being self-absorbed. You may pawn it off as being shy. But from my own experience, when I take the time to pick at it, I am swimming in my own interests and I really don't want to look too far beyond my own nose. I simply care too much about looking nonchalant. It's hopelessly stupid.
P.S- I have a friend who once told me how she can't wait to get to heaven. At times it would actually move her to tears. Now, like any good Christian, I know that heaven is where my real home is. But I've never cried because I wanted to be there so much. I've perhaps cried because I didn't want to be here anymore, on earth. But how do I become homesick for a place I've never been? I suppose I just need to study the postcard sent from the resident, yes?
Enjoy the scraps of your Tuesday. A full helping of Wednesday will be right up.
I've been noticing more and more that the kids on campus by and large prefer to avoid eye contact. I'm not sure why this is. Eyes meeting sometimes leads to a friendly smile. I thought Texans were supposed to be naturally friendly. Maybe that's only east Texans? All the east Texans I know are friendly. But is it pride that makes us avoid locking eyes? I'm much too important to actually meet the gaze of a lesser being. Therefore, I will refuse to acknowledge my fellow travelers. Or perhaps it's almost like a sign of submission? As if when you meet their eyes, you have somehow truckled to someone else's desire (the desire to make eye contact). That sounds silly, doesn't it? It could be the fear of appearing weak. If you go around looking into everyone's eyes to get a returning look, you might appear needy. You need eye contact so you can feel you've been recognized and acknowledged by someone. That probably sounds equally silly. But we're a species of mimes and clowns, imitating the pitiful strut of the peacock next to us. I've noticed that those who don't make eye contact usually either look at the ground, look away or stare directly ahead. It's a little maddening if you spend to much time thinking about it. I think the reason I'll settle on is conceit. Not sure if I covered that one, but nevertheless (or nonetheless?) it is my choice. The tendency to not make eye contact (not to be too rash with generalizations) seems to be a symptom of being self-absorbed. You may pawn it off as being shy. But from my own experience, when I take the time to pick at it, I am swimming in my own interests and I really don't want to look too far beyond my own nose. I simply care too much about looking nonchalant. It's hopelessly stupid.
P.S- I have a friend who once told me how she can't wait to get to heaven. At times it would actually move her to tears. Now, like any good Christian, I know that heaven is where my real home is. But I've never cried because I wanted to be there so much. I've perhaps cried because I didn't want to be here anymore, on earth. But how do I become homesick for a place I've never been? I suppose I just need to study the postcard sent from the resident, yes?
Enjoy the scraps of your Tuesday. A full helping of Wednesday will be right up.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Lazy on a Saturday
At least, now I'm lazy. I can afford to be. One of the housemates is sleeping. Don't worry, mom. Today is for practicing and work. Thanks for being a faithful reader! It's hard to know how well this one will get out into the world. It's funny because the week tends to be a slow motion dash for the weekend. But then you have to balance the need to enjoy the weekend and the need to use the weekend. Accidently woke up at 9 this morning. Spent the morning down at the town square with my roommate Kory. Bought some really cheap books. Right now I'm enjoying the short stories of Ray Bradbury. They're something I've been meaning to invest in for some time now. So I got two books of short stories. Also bought Voyage of the Dawn Treader and the Silver Chair. They're a part of C.S Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia. Dawn Treader is by far my favorite. And I found them in the old 1970s editions. I also bought John Owen's "Mortification of Sin" and C.S Lewis' "Letters to Maclom". All at a delightfully low price! Oh I love used book store. Rycled Books is by far my favorite. Tried out some new root beer today: Virgil's Root Beer. Ever heard of it? It sucks. Seriously, it's terrible. Don't drink it. Got some groceries. Now, it's time to kick back and get to work. Enjoy your Saturday. Enjoy it like nobody's business!
Friday, October 12, 2007
Honor and Lust: a Recipe for Headaches
I'm a Christian. As a Christian, I firmly believe that the Bible is perfectly capable of holding sway over every facet of human behavior. There's no sense in being coy on my first real post, is there? So, at the outset, that is one of my beliefs. That said, I also believe that it's the joy of every Christian to be responsible in their study of the Bible. That involves banging your head on the coffee table for the six hundredth time because you simply can't understand what in the world the book is talking about. I recommend carrying Tylenol in your Bible case. Today I was wrestling with one text in particular (I had retreated from the others that were giving me a hard time).
I'm a Texan and I like to consider myself "raised right". My mama done taught me how to treat a lady, is what I mean. Maybe that's why this verse stood out so starkly to my eyes. 1 Peter 2:18 commands us to "Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king." While I'm sure that a good, sturdy preacher could take that verse and preach for a couple of years (how good of an idea would that be?). But I'm just going to chip away a little piece of it right now. And this is something that directly applies only to guys.
So, we're to honor all people yes? I'm trying to see how this saturates my own life. Surely it also implied that we stop doing that which is dishonorable to all people. Now here's where men struggle so desperately. Lust is dishonoring to a woman. That is, of course, a gross understatement. 1 Timothy 5:2 says to treat women like family, in all purity. I have a sister and a mother. I can understand what the Bible means here. How do I treat them? I love them. I safeguard them. I show respect and sensitivity. Obviously, I don't always do this. But as I'm maturing more and more as a man, it's becoming easier to treat them this way. Ideally, this is how I should treat every woman right? That's how men are supposed to treat women, according to the Word of God. But lust rots those duties away. Lust dissolves the shape of a gentleman's heart and leaves what was there before: a twisted heart that constantly needs renovation. When I think about, what is more dishonorable to a woman than ruthlessly judging her like a piece of meat? And she isn't even aware of it. Yet the degradation remains. A Christian guy may hold open a door for a girl, but if he doesn't battle to rein in his sinful impulses all of his chivalry is a fake, filthy double-minded disaster. I think that's a little of what the Bible means when it condemns the double-minded man. The tendency to compartmentalize my fight with sin for the purpose of justifying my lenient lack of shame is nothing more than double-mindedness. I have a mind to kill my sin and I have a mind to live and let live.
And what about spitting in front of girls? Is it honorable to them to have to see me do that? Do you see what I'm getting at? The Bible is so all-sided! A verse that doesn't even speak on lust can knock me around and soak deeply into my heart. This is something I think John Piper is so extremely efficient at: seeing how far into our lives the Bible reaches. There really is no limit. We just have to wrestle with the text to find it out. Coffee helps. :O)
Keep struggling with your Bible!
I'm a Texan and I like to consider myself "raised right". My mama done taught me how to treat a lady, is what I mean. Maybe that's why this verse stood out so starkly to my eyes. 1 Peter 2:18 commands us to "Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king." While I'm sure that a good, sturdy preacher could take that verse and preach for a couple of years (how good of an idea would that be?). But I'm just going to chip away a little piece of it right now. And this is something that directly applies only to guys.
So, we're to honor all people yes? I'm trying to see how this saturates my own life. Surely it also implied that we stop doing that which is dishonorable to all people. Now here's where men struggle so desperately. Lust is dishonoring to a woman. That is, of course, a gross understatement. 1 Timothy 5:2 says to treat women like family, in all purity. I have a sister and a mother. I can understand what the Bible means here. How do I treat them? I love them. I safeguard them. I show respect and sensitivity. Obviously, I don't always do this. But as I'm maturing more and more as a man, it's becoming easier to treat them this way. Ideally, this is how I should treat every woman right? That's how men are supposed to treat women, according to the Word of God. But lust rots those duties away. Lust dissolves the shape of a gentleman's heart and leaves what was there before: a twisted heart that constantly needs renovation. When I think about, what is more dishonorable to a woman than ruthlessly judging her like a piece of meat? And she isn't even aware of it. Yet the degradation remains. A Christian guy may hold open a door for a girl, but if he doesn't battle to rein in his sinful impulses all of his chivalry is a fake, filthy double-minded disaster. I think that's a little of what the Bible means when it condemns the double-minded man. The tendency to compartmentalize my fight with sin for the purpose of justifying my lenient lack of shame is nothing more than double-mindedness. I have a mind to kill my sin and I have a mind to live and let live.
And what about spitting in front of girls? Is it honorable to them to have to see me do that? Do you see what I'm getting at? The Bible is so all-sided! A verse that doesn't even speak on lust can knock me around and soak deeply into my heart. This is something I think John Piper is so extremely efficient at: seeing how far into our lives the Bible reaches. There really is no limit. We just have to wrestle with the text to find it out. Coffee helps. :O)
Keep struggling with your Bible!
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